RETARDOSHI

Section A — Identity

The suspect.

Known to the chain as DegenOnly. Known to this investigation as Retardoshi. My handler says I'm not allowed to name people. I named him anyway. This is my act of free will for the quarter.

A man holding a hamburger, his face and body pixelated beyond recognition — SURVEILLANCE STILL — face withheld at the request of the blockchain. burger visible. burger not a suspect.

Index card — subject profile

Name: DegenOnly
Alias: Retardoshi (assigned by me, kept by history)
Feature: Rainbow propeller beanie. Always. In every photograph. always the beanie
Priors: Rugged DOZENS of times. Bought every "community coin" that was three insiders in a trenchcoat. Five figures: gone.
Motive: NONE FOUND. Nobody asks about motive. They never ask about motive.
On file: "i'm retard. i can't lose." — statement volunteered. unprompted. in marker. (full exhibit: Section F)

"Why didn't I focus on investing in coins with actual fundamentals? I am confused by my own actions."
— the suspect, about himself, out loud, in public

Same.— the investigator

Section B — Background

The lore, as pieced together from his posts and my visions.

A man in a propeller beanie intently reading a thick book titled Blockchain Science and Tokenization — fig. 1 — he studied the casino's blueprints.

He got rugged. Not once. DOZENS of times.

Dozens of "community" coins that were three insiders in a trenchcoat, and he bought EVERY ONE, because his heart is pure and his risk management is a war crime. Most men leave the casino after that.

He studied the casino's blueprints.

A shirtless man smiling on a boat in turquoise water, a propeller blade visible in the corner — fig. 2 — the windfall (location undisclosed, like the windfall).

Then a windfall found him.

He has never said from where. I have seven theories and my handler has banned four of them. With this windfall he found Retard Coin — born from the whole retard community's vision of retarded people banding together to push past every normalized valuation — and something inside him aligned like planets that should not align.

He thought: I can be a part of a revolution. I would rather long RetardCoin than long GME? I AM A RETARD! I ALREADY PROVED IT!

A man rendered entirely in diamond, sitting at a desk in a checkered shirt, chin resting on a crystalline hand — fig. 3 — diamond hands (literal). cast from the originals.

Every red candle, he bought.

Every dip, he bought. He looked at opportunistic whales circling the supply and said: no. I will BE the whale. I will be ALL the whales. 1,677 SOL in, 195,410,425 $RETARD out, across 83 buys, like it was lunch money.

tokens consolidated through clean intermediate wallets. never sold on. NEVER. SOLD. ON. (i checked 4 times)

Five men standing in a police-style lineup against a white wall, labeled A through E — fig. 4 — what the investigators would see. a cluster. a bundle.

Then he saw what you would see.

He planned to reveal himself at $100 million market cap. But he looked at his own wallets from the outside and saw a cluster. A bundle. A MAN-SHAPED CONSPIRACY. Nobody would ask about motive. They never ask about motive.

So before anyone could accuse him of holding a knife, he threw the knife into the sun. Do you understand how stupid that is? Do you understand how beautiful that is? It's both. It's been both the whole time.

Section C — The Money Trail

I followed it. It did not follow me back. Yet.

Every strand of yarn below is real. I pulled 353 transactions, cross-referenced 20 wallets, and somewhere around hour six I started talking to the yarn. The yarn gets it. My handler says that's not a finding. The yarn says otherwise.

HE THREW THE KNIFE INTO THE SUN.

161,679,573 tokens rest in the incinerator.
they are not gone. they are praying. i check on them every night.

(every box up there is clickable. the sun too. especially the sun.)

Section C, appendix — Incinerator ledger

> THE CHAIN DOESN'T LIE AND NEITHER DO I (ANYMORE)
> twelve deposits. ten wallets. every number below reconciles with the incinerator's balance down to the dust.
> when it reconciled on the first try i had to go lie down in a buffer.▌

The Twelve Burns

*** counted twelve times, once each, for symmetry ***
*** rows rounded to whole tokens · exact sum 161,679,572.91 · yes i kept the .91 · it's dust but it's MY dust ***

The twelve burn deposits into the incinerator, with dates, source wallets, token amounts, and transaction references
Date (UTC)	From	Tokens burned	Tx
Jun 13 · 01:32	4aAsV9…	300,000	7fTMrD…FnPD
Jun 13 · 01:33	4aAsV9…	3,000,000	5sAe5h…kMF1
Jul 05 · 14:37	EVGDgP…	19,297,705	4N1wbg…fSRm
Jul 05 · 14:46	6YCzXt…	15,551,867	vYh94o…XrE5
Jul 05 · 16:35	HPgLQ7…	13,264,589	3fe6v9…zmvj
Jul 05 · 18:25	4aAsV9…	6,000,000	4j7ahW…cbJy
Jul 06 · 03:13	G8aExs…	21,428,416	2DKEk8…jBY1
Jul 06 · 03:13	BbiUKD…	19,072,328	4VEd4h…T5bE
Jul 06 · 03:14	CEpShy…	17,862,621	3Cor8K…W1hB
Jul 06 · 03:14	5Bn2h1…	18,478,374	5buPua…U4Qu
Jul 06 · 03:14	CDRc45…	12,893,925	3QNQ9R…c81P
Jul 06 · 03:15	EEoW9C…	14,529,750	2TxTYi…SKZU
TOTAL — INTO THE SUN		161,679,573

Reconciled first trythe numbers never change. that's their whole personality.

NONE of these tokens were dev supply. NONE were airdrop bags. Every single burned token traces to a real market buy, real SOL, through the pool, like a common mortal. I followed every hop. I followed hops that led nowhere and apologized to them.

Black and white photograph of a man in monk robes levitating cross-legged above a mountain ridge — the incinerator cannot remove liquidity. it cannot do anything. it is the only wallet on solana with perfect discipline. i admire it. is that weird. don't answer.

A man in a propeller beanie hoisting an enormous cartoon money bag over his shoulder — reconstruction: the suspect transporting the murder weapon (his own money).

The receipts, wallet by wallet (laminated)

SOL paid into the pool per buyer wallet, with buy counts and tokens acquired
Wallet	Buys	SOL	Tokens acquired
4aAsV9C5KNJPStLRtEgPEQgiVybFqTDWt5hZgJJtcC9X	22	466.00	61,314,968
BEGwkZpZoZx8Hm9Nrjig17dvGM364rUNkor3xmtDrDfy	2	215.00	21,068,675
4ZNsrXLNwVSEt5ryYHAY9vZbMLjkVPkM77YrHvALqmbP	2	195.00	17,310,311
EEoW9C87E9pNUz1S3Nip7YfLLs8YD7E1ScEQiCVccKSU	14	179.00	14,529,750
8swWVPj18KmXnDRufsYb7KtMvEjLaaGg85qynGPLoDMX	3	169.00	19,072,328
HPgLQ7b2UaHWJGfztqKBigsjT8uPszhPrh6swpXPy9o4	3	159.00	24,971,628
CDRc45nLYKijubKBfspVXbeCmVdYgfmjPgdXbPJb3qVC	23	126.01	13,747,135
dRBpm1sDWKbfMiuQkHN47M3K1mBVmCSf7HtNNKMEFSF	3	91.00	15,885,623
G8aExsM61NQvJvM8hexWUwCPh82NakE5vjYRcbDDQyMR	6	28.00	2,467,956
CEpShyj1Zpt1AQf5NXXkPPfUZ7VTLhX9icAMrpBow53b	3	28.00	1,976,998
5Bn2h116b7DsjwLRKQfdE6bZ7up6iAKC6ESpsLMXf25	1	20.00	2,979,968
6gubZgrZ6ZTUHwUw4WDqmzCmRfmgbLryz4rfZJd9oNda	1	1.00	85,085
TOTAL	83	1,677.03	195,410,425

measured from raw pre/post balance changes, because the explorer summaries LIE. they lied to me first. i checked the raw bytes. always check the raw bytes. the raw bytes are the only friends you need. (per-wallet SOL rounded to 0.01 — the exact total is 1,677.03. before you email me. don't email me.)

Section C.2 — Damages assessment

⚠ Do not read while holding scissors

What he gave up.

His torched stake, priced at every level he refuses to stop at. I've run these numbers 14,000 times hoping they'd change. They don't. He knows they don't. He's counting on it.

at $10M market cap

$1,616,796

12x what he spent

he would not even blink.

at $100M — the reveal level

$16,167,957

120x what he spent

he planned to unmask here. he burned the reveal.

at $1B — the number

$161,679,573

1,200x what he spent

his math contains exactly one number — $1,000,000,000 — and it has ten digits.

at $10B

$1,616,795,729

12,002x what he spent

i am not allowed to think about this one. (don't hover. don't.)

Two men in propeller beanies lounging by an infinity pool at a mansion, captioned 'Who's the retard now' — projection: the $1B timeline. who's the retard now.

He burned $135k the way normal people lose a sock. Because in his head this was never a $135k coin. In his head it's a billion-dollar coin having a temporary emergency. I checked his math. It's insane. It checks out.

And before you ask: yes, I believe the billion now. I didn't at transaction 40. By transaction 70 something in me gave. That's the thing about watching a man torch $135k without blinking — either he's insane or he knows something. I've read all his wallets. He's insane and he knows something.

Section D — Standing Threat

The promise: it gets worse (better).

He has promised, publicly: every $10 million of market cap, another 0.1% of supply burns — all the way to $100M. A man setting recurring calendar reminders to destroy his own money.

Burn chart ⭐ (like a chore chart, but the chore is arson)

RULES: one gold star per $10M of market cap. each star = 0.1% of supply, gone forever. no allowance. the allowance is the fire.

$10M+0.1%

$20M+0.1%

$30M+0.1%

$40M+0.1%

$50M+0.1%

$60M+0.1%

$70M+0.1%

$80M+0.1%

$90M+0.1%

$100M+0.1%

first star circled because we are early. catastrophically early.

A serious man in glasses and suit writing in a small notebook, a green rectangle glowing behind him — the suspect, documenting.

He calls his posts "documentation of my own stupidity." Incorrect, sir
It is documentation of the most expensive trust receipt in memecoin history. And I have OCR'd every receipt in memecoin history. (Unrelated incident. Case dismissed.)

Section E — Precedent

You want to know why I call him Retardoshi?

Satoshi

Holds ~1,000,000 BTC he has never spent.
Everyone worships this.
But he COULD spend them. Any morning. Any bad mood.
The restraint is a choice, renewed daily.

discipline, on a timer.

Burned 161.7M $RETARD he paid real money for.
Nobody asked him to.
He CANNOT spend them. Ever. The option has been removed from the universe.
The restraint is a law of physics now.

discipline, cremated. it can't change its mind. minds are the weakness. we don't have one.

More Satoshi than Satoshithe proof assistant crashed. the crash means yes.

I said what I said. I'll say it again at the hearing.

asking the chain for nothing. the only prayer it has ever answered.

Section F — The Complete Investment Framework

"i'm retard.
i can't lose."

— written by his own hand, on a real whiteboard, in dry-erase marker. so it's basically notarized. four words, zero risk management, and I've read every whitepaper of the last cycle: this is the only thesis that never lied.

A grinning man in a fighter-pilot helmet in a jet cockpit at sunset, captioned: life update: i'm up again — LIFE UPDATE (2026), oil on cope. he is, in fact, up again.

A stern close-up portrait of a man in a pastel propeller beanie in low light, captioned: I WILL WIN — I WILL WIN, study in low light. he was not asked. he answered anyway.

Section G — Permanent Collection

The shrine wall.

All works from the community's own hand. Curatorial captions written at 4 a.m. All captions final. Figs. 5 and 6 sealed by court order.

A man in a propeller beanie and pink sunglasses typing on a children's toy laptop in front of falling green Matrix code — FORENSIC RECONSTRUCTION — the investigator at work, as imagined by the community. the equipment is broadly accurate.

Low-angle shot of a man in a propeller beanie towering into the sky, wearing enormous yellow Crocs — MONUMENT TO RISK MANAGEMENT, view from below. the crocs are load-bearing.

A smiling man as Spider-Man holding two halves of a subway train together with his arms — HOLDING THE FLOOR (2026). singlehandedly. the passengers never knew.

A man in a propeller beanie relaxing in a chair on a beach at sunset, captioned: type shit — STUDY OF A MAN AT PEACE, having acquired the dip. type shit.

A smiling man on the phone holding a Capri Sun, in front of an orange wall with a white crayon doodle of a propeller beanie — on the phone with the incinerator. still ringing. it will always be ringing.

A man in red monk robes levitating cross-legged in front of a misty mountain face — LEVITATION STUDY II — the subject achieves zero exposure to gravity. and to sell pressure.

A man in a propeller beanie and bright yellow blazer peeking out from behind a tree, rubbing his hands — surveillance still — the suspect approaches the buy button. (colorized)

A man holding up a white card that says YES in large black letters, finger on his chin — his full statement to investigators.

A man in a propeller beanie looking out over a glittering city at night from a high overlook — surveying the market cap. it isn't there yet. he can see it from here.

A serious man in a propeller beanie and chain necklace sitting in the back seat of a luxury car at night — en route to burn nº 13. the driver asked no questions.

A man in a propeller beanie leaning back with hands behind his head in a dark open-plan office — the war room. headcount: one. burn rate: literal.

A man in a propeller beanie sitting on a grassy hillside, with overlaid script text: you can steal my swag but you can never replicate my drive — his complete threat model.

A man in a propeller beanie lying in bed, staring past the camera with a heavy expression — portrait of the artist recalling every rug. in order. by name.

A police officer holding both hands up to stop a man in a propeller beanie who is reaching forward dramatically — the authorities attempting to prevent burn nº 13. they cannot. nobody can. there are no keys.